I'm not sure, and I can't make up my mind.

The value of allowing yourself to adapt and the subsequent internal debate on the ethics of compromise.

I warn folks all the time that it's dangerous to be the sole arbiter in your mind, to be trapped in your own atmosphere, like a solipsist: to be your singular source of counsel. But who can be trusted?

*

Ay, here's the rub: I can't decide if real life is informing me or wearing me down. I can't afford to lose my resolve, and my focus is paltry enough already.

*

No evil dooms us hopelessly but the evil we love--
~ George Eliot

I like the image of Erin having her father's temper-- eloquent, furious, intense, just barely restrained.

I like the image of that alongside Daniel: good-humored, distant, intellectual, nervous but passive; and my water nearby running hot and violent.

*

Messiah complex:

Daniel is the only person I ever told about the time I got down on my knees and offered my soul to the Devil in exchange for the power to save my father.

It's possible that I have to be Absolutely Unshakable in the face of adversity, and that's the opposite of compromise.

*

Suddenly, looking at the high City Hall towers with stone nymphs atop, I realized I was going to save th'world!

I sand & marched:

"This is the Other Shore, that we were looking for!"

and:--

"I am the perfect man, the Buddha of this world."

Already perfect! I forget the details!

~ Jack Kerouac, Brooklyn Bridge Blues