I woke up this morning with a burst of optimism-- to counter, perhaps, the bursts of suicidal depression that have met my mornings, and sometimes evenings and afternoons, for the last week. last night tossed & turned worrying about how I'm going to pay for all my text books; but this morning it's all right. I have set all my will against giving up. the good lord will provide.

and if not I'll just have to rely on my mad brilliant skillz and devastating charm, which are vast if not inexhaustible.

also, I have eyeglasses now. little rectangular black wire coffeeshop glasses and my immediate impression is that they actually obstruct my vision; but the impressionistic softness does tighten into straight lines and hard edges when I put on the glasses, I can read the blackboard in classrooms, and I'm running over fewer medians these days. Elizabeth says they make me look like a sexy librarian, which is one of the three looks I'm always going for.* So all in all, I'm okay with the glasses, except for intermittent motion-sickness.

speaking of sexy librarian, here's a nice crotchshot of yours truly, when I was rubbing the feet of She Who Must Not Be Named. for anyone who suspected that Dexcon was a little less wholesome than I led you to believe. Poi-- who is fantastic, sort of British, my first fanfic friend, who I met in person for the first time this year-- said of me in her con report, "who would've thought such a sweet, innocent demeanour could hide so many homoerotic fantasies?" See her whole con report and suggestive pastry pictures here.

I want to say something further about the dreams my people are having about the new world, finding it or making it, and the invisible threat, and then connect it to my mad dash past despair, toward maybe nothing; but these days freetime comes in half-hour installments. Go read those dreams and we'll reconvene on Tuesday.

Love. and tag.

* The other two looks are Despondent Badass and Rapscallion Messiah. In recent years I've managed to combine all three looks into the one I call Middle-Class Hobo. perhaps you've seen it. you're quite lucky.

Alestar
***
And he still feels like he's drowning, even though it's just the crime-fighting, and the sex, and school. His life isn't *that* complicated.
Te, "The lie I was born to"