I had to take my drug test twice, 'cause I fucked it up. Got the job, start training next week. I didn't get enough sleep last night-- so when I came home and Chrissy, who has a perforated ear drum, asked me to read The Black Cauldron to her, I got impossibly sleepy and dozed long in the sunshine.

I had a dream that I was on a long rope bridge, looking out at something-- I don't know, huge-- like a big jungle, and I said,

"What is this?"

And then I was in my bedroom and White came in and said, "We could call it samba" or "losamba" or something. And I said, "but that doesn't mean anything" and she said,

"Down is up, lucky duck."

So, yeah, I started reading The Black Cauldron to my little sister. The Black Cauldron is the second book in the Prydain series, which is the line of young adult books by Lloyd Alexander that basically shaped me as a person.

I'm an Assistant Pig-Keeper.

I found myself pronouncing things differently from when I was little. There's a faery character, named Doli-- and instead of "Dahlee" I said "Dohlee".

Also, I'm noticing things I didn't notice when I was little. Like, how there're only _two_ female characters, and one is a sexual predator and the other is a petulant princess. (she's the smart-talking princess who has all the good ideas, but she never, like, kicks ass.) The whole thing is very patriarchal. I am, torn. I choose to ignore it.

The other thing: good lord, the slash. The slash, the slash. It's like, I'm reading this book, I'm sitting in the living room where my siblings are watching Boy Meets World on the Disney channel, and thinking, jesus christ. My world has changed.

Lloyd says:

"Woe and sadness!" the creature wailed, loping anxiously to Taran. "Gurgi sees smackings and whackings by strengthful lord! Poor, kindly master! Gurgi is sorry for him."

"But there is news!" Gurgi hurried on. "Good news! Gurgi also see mightiest of princes riding! Yes, yes, with great gallopings on white horse with black sword, what joy!"

"What's that?" cried Taran. "Do you mean Prince Gwydion? It can't be . . "

"It is," said a voice behind him.

Gwydion stood in the doorway.

With a shout of amazement, Taran ran forward and clasped his hand. The last time Taran had seen him, Gwydion wore the raiment of a prince of the royal House of Don. Now he was dressed simply in a hooded cloak of gray and a coarse, unadorned jacket. The black sword, Dyrnwyn, hung at his side.

"Well met, all of you," said Gwydion. "Gurgi looks as hungry as ever, Eilonwy prettier than ever. And you, Assistant Pig-Keeper," he added, his lined and weathered face breaking into a smile, "a little the worse for wear. Dalben has mentioned how you came by those bruises."

"I sought no quarrel," Taran declared.

"But one found you, nonetheless," Gwydion said. "I think that must be the way of it with you, Taran of Caer Dalben. No matter," he said, stepping back and studying Taran closely through green-flecked eyes. "Let me look at you."

Gwydion nodded his shaggy wolf-gray head in approval. "You have grown since last we met. I hope you have gained as much wisdom as height. We shall see. Now I must make ready for the council."

"Council?" Taran asked. "Dalben said nothing of a council. He did not even say you were coming here."

"You should understand by now," said Gwydion, "that of what he knows, Dalben tells little. Yes, there is to be a council, and I have summoned others to meet us here."

"I am old enough to sit in a council of men," Taran interrupted excitedly. "I have learned much; I have fought at your side, I have . . "

Gwydion put his hands on Taran's shoulders. "Gently, gently," he said. "We have agreed you shall have a place. Though manhood," he added softly, with a trace of sadness, "may not be all that you believe."

--Or is that just me?

I start training for my new job next Monday, and I'm going to the zoo with Devon and Dust Friday. This makes me think, hey. Fasting. Fasting is for Wednesday and Thursday. We'll see how that goes.

Nobody else is stronger than I am. Yesterday I moved a mountain. I bet I could be your hero.

I am a mightly little man.

Love you.

--Alestar,
honey in the rock and the sugar don't stop.