Happy birthday, Dust. There was never a time when this was not the most important thing. :]

I listen to Joey Fatone do guest vocals for Blaque's "As If", and it's unbearably cute. He's gonna be a daddy. You can go here and place your guesses as to the circumstances of the baby's birth. I entered, and guessed that a baby girl would be born on the 4th of August. And that Joey'd name her Tiara.

Dacey, from the bunny list, was imagining the addition of a little baby girl to the tour bus, and describing scenes like:

Sink baths are just too fucking cute, and you know that all they have on the bus is a shower.

And they'd argue over whether or not the water was warm enough, and Joey'd be bathing her, but there'd four guys fanned out in the background, critiquing.

Justin: Dude. The water's too cold.

Joey: It's not too cold.

JC: It's totally too cold. She's blue.

Joey: She's not blue. That's her normal color.

Chris: She looks like a smurf, Joey...and you're getting that shit in her eyes.

Joey: It's baby shampoo. It doesn't sting.

Chris: How the hell do you know?

Joey: Is she crying?

Lance: Well she probably would be if her vocal chords weren't frozen.

Joey: Fuck you all. Go get your own babies.

So, there's this place that isn't the regular X-Men, but the world of XXY, where all our beloved mutants were born of the opposite gender. Wolverine, as a woman. Mystique, as a man. Cool, yes?

XXY Logan is a woman named Loren, and Hunter. She has long dark hair and she's solid and mean. She has a relationship of sexually-tinged hostility with John Grey, and she helped to deliver Stephanie Summers' baby. She fights with Victoria Creed-- Bitch-- who she sometimes fucks, and it's more obvious to everybody else here, because people are just more likely to pick up on the homoeroticism of two women fighting than two men.

Bobbi Drake is one of those goofy short-haired dykes who likes *nsync. When she first joined the team-- which is called X-Factor, and not X-Men, which is less convenient, but oh well-- her codename was Snowflake, but she had a whole self-discovery chrysalsis thing and changed her name to Ice. She goes on midnight twinkie runs with her bud, Ettie McCoy, who makes fun of her boyband thing.

XXY Callisto is Orion, who smirks and hangs around Storm (Omari Munroe), but is a member of the team-- 'cause it's much easier to be a scarred-up lanky guy than a scarred-up lanky woman.

Carolyn Xavier is a doctor, not a professor. She remembers a time when her friend was just Erika Lehnsherr, and not Polaris, the Mistress of Magnetism.

twenty fourteen word xxy stories

"Loren's gone again," Heike says quietly, looking at the letter. Orion nods and shrugs.

Where there's smoke, there's fire. Doctor Xavier stands shakily and turns the television off.

"You did not," Ettie grinds out, "mention anything about going undercover, when we talked."

Stephanie casts a surreptitious glance at her lover. It just seems, there's no time.

"I think Tiki Barber is a sexy mofo," Bobbi says defensively, not fooling anybody.

Orion takes a drag from his cigarette, flicks it away, stands. "Come on, Munroe."

"I think you should talk to Paula," John says, pouring the tea. "She's-- shaken."

The thick cold pours from the sky, and Storm's raised hands tremble with power.

"I-- you--," Snowflake says, snatching up the Playboy. "I read it for the articles."

Loren's gaze passes slowly over John's angry form. She smirks. "Try me, pretty boy."

Smiling, Paula hefts the short woman up. "You are most peculiar, tovarisch." Loren grins.

"What did you expect, Carolyn?" Polaris asks the empty room. "What did you expect?"

Bobbi watches the X-Men movie, frowning. "They gave Omari breasts. I don't get it."

"Carolyn," Ettie says gently, touching her bunched shoulder. "Stephanie is fine. Get some sleep."

No, not today's epic battle. Yesterday's epic battle. Today's faded wounds, tomorrow's interrupted sleep.

Shauna gazed long at Omari's relaxed posture, Loren's blank face. Finally, she sighed. "Fold."

Bitch, staring across the body at Hunter. Long they stood there. Stood and stood.

Rogue would sit alone, humming softly, until Kit sat down beside him and asked.

"Do you think I don't know what went on between you two?"
"Summers. Don't."

What it all comes down to is, who's at the dining room table tonight.

--Alestar,
the silent g