Hey. Ignore me. I'm just writing, and I'm on a foreign computer in this strange computer lab on campus that I never knew existed, so I have no where else to do this. So, just ignore me.

Um. It's against the rules to throw other people's heads. A revolution's coming, hey. Oh, hello.

*cough*

The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don't flower.

She expected alot of things, out here. She expected craziness, and red noises and loud blood. She expected hard things, anger, curses, clouded eyes. Trying hands. Lots of trying-- although, really, she expected loss.

Jubilee always expects loss.

Jean met them at the door, and Emma launched right into demands, questions about Blue. Jubilee stood at the back of the group, watching her own hand move on the doorframe. Jean tried to catch her eye, but *everybody* was trying to catch her eye. The only person who was really succeeding was Angelo, who kept talking about stupid shit, like how hungry he was or how fuckin cold he was or what the hell is up with that shrub. Because everybody in that group knows loss, but only her and Ange knows what it is to expect it. So he keeps pushing Jubilee to the back of the group and starting fights with Paige.

Jean said, "Yes, of course you can, but before that-- I need to talk to you, Jubilee." She says, "Jubilee?" again, to get me to look up. Emma said, "I want to see her." Jean looked at Sean and said, "I know you do, Emma, but I need to talk to Jubilee briefly before anybody sees her."

So they went into the den and Jean talked to Jubilee. She said things like, "I know what you're expecting."

Jubilee pretended not to feel sick, and shrugged and said something like, "I'm not expecting anything. I just, I mean, I'm expecting her to be alive, right? And she is alive. So. Whatever, man. You told me what's going on. And Sean talked to me about it, and-- I get it. I get what's going on. I'm not expecting anything." Jean didn't say anything, so Jubilee said, "She is alive, right?" And Jean didn't smile, but at least she nodded, a little.

Blue was in the boathouse, it turns out, while all that was going on. Watching TV, and wrapping her hands up in a shirt she found on the floor, and upwrapping them and looking at her the long, angry lines across the palm and knuckles, and swallowing, and wrapping them again.

Jubilee knocked on the door. Blue threw the shirt onto the floor and said, "Yeah."

Jubilee came in and sat down in a chair across from the couch where Blue was sitting, and said nothing, until she said,

"What the fuck happened to your eyes."

classtime.

comin' back.