Hey, guadalupe. Let me tell you how really, really gross I am.

I'm really gross. I'm all oily, and I've been eating all these peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And listening to Three Doors Down. So I'm really gross.

I woke up this morning with tarot on the brain. Like, John Travolta's angel character in Michael, when he's facing off the bull and he yells "Battle!" Except, I was yelling "Tarot!" In my greasy head.

I made White take me out for coffee last night, and she wanted to talk about moving out. I told her that there are lots of roads ahead of me right now and I have some really important decisions to make. She said, it's the handicap-parking motif I threatened to decorate the living room with, isn't it. And I said, yes, I hate you. We had lots of coffee and we took the lids of the creamers and drew little face cards on them and invented a card game we could play with only twenty cards.

So, anyway. I took a blanket, a candle, a seashell, and my lightning necklace-- and sat in the sun and did a spread. Celtic Cross, because that's the one I know the best.

#1 - Whatchoo all about, Alestar?

Drew the Strength card. The illustration on is of Macha. I used to be more involved with the Celtic pantheon than I am now-- now that I've started inventing my own deities, god bless me-- and Macha was my girl. There's a story about her, in which Lugh goes walking in the forest to clear his mind before a big battle, and Macha attacks him. She wrestles him to the ground and slaps him around a bit. And she says, hey. You need victory in war-- and I want a good lay.

So.

The most important aspect of this card, in this case, is that people who retreat from a difficult situation will also inevitable lose their strength of purpose and will-power. And their life force will be weakened. This is an important thing for us to remember.

#2 - I've never been able to get down what exactly this card means.

Doesn't matter. We'll just apply it very generally to the situation. Came up with the Six of Coins. A positive and rewarding period of life. A successful conclusion, but not necessarily the end of the matter. Sounds good, doesn't it? And I'm pretty sure, whatever the second card means, it doesn't mean THAT THING WHICH WILL NEVER, EVER BE ACHIEVED.

#3 - What would be the ideal solution here?

Why, the Four of Wands-- rest and repose, the completion of the matter, a quiet period spent in this a new home. Well, okay, a quiet period spent at home-- I added in the "new". But, regardless, yeah. That's definitely the ideal. Complete and at rest.

#4 - What's in your heart, traveller?

The Nine of Swords is in my heart. Which means if I went and knocked on the door to Heaven, they wouldn't let me in. There's self-inflicted despair, mostly, and cruelty of the mind. Stress-related health problems. Which means, I need to get my head out of my self-abused ass.

#5 - What's gone or going?

An upside-down Sun is gone-- and thank god for that, right? Who wants an upside-down Sun. All the plants would grow backwards.

Also, it means arrogance and vanity, extravagance and overcommitment in financial affairs. It's worth noting that I did a spread earlier this year, in the summer, when White and I were talking about getting an apartment, and I drew the inverted Sun as a current matter. But now it no longer applies.

#6 - So what does apply? Or will, soon.

An upside-down Page of Coins, that's what. Delays that lead to wasted opportunities. I think we all saw that coming, yes? Know I did.

#7 - Sure, what else do you "know"? What are you thinking about all this?

Well, Christ, what do I always think? I think in upside-down Death. Through this whole thing, I lack real purpose. My easy out is to confuse the issue and thereby postpone the inevitable movement. What we gotta remember, however, is that not facing up to things creates a self-destructive cycle. --Helena Paterson's words, not mine.

#8 - The most important card on this particular matter, right? Where's your home, Alestar.

The Magician.

#9 - What's the big deal, yo? What're you afraid of?

I'm afraid of the Three of Swords.

You've seen the illustration for the Three of Swords, right? Two swords crossed, and then a big old disruptive third sword cutting between them. I seem to always be integrating myself tightly into pairs.

"You don't get it. I am not the good guy.

#10 - Enough of this, Taran. Ask the question. What's gonna happen?

The tenth card has always been good to me. After all this time, you'd think I'd be more of an optimist. ;]

The Ten of Cups is the final word. It's a final success which effects not only me, but the whole household. Finally, a stablilized emotional environment-- a time of completion and giving.

And, furthermore:

Another card told me to draw it out of the deck, and that was the Ace of Cups. That's the divine conciousness card. Somebody's taking care of me, and they want me to know that throughout, whatever happens, "powerful insight into life itself reveals some simple truths."

--Alestar,
gross.